How To Become a Thuper Affiliate Blogger Overnight

I’m going to go out on a limb here and say at least 9/10 people reading this aren’t really making a significant income online. Via affiliate marketing, blogging, SEO, whatever. Well I’m about to tell you how to turn that around with a little bit of simple writing. You see, becoming a super affiliate blogger really is a lot easier than you’d think, you actually don’t even have to know anything. You’re going to really sense the satire in this post, but also know that everything is true.

Step 1 : Pick a name that dictates you from the start.

You want people’s first impression of you to be that of a self-proclaimed badass, chances are they’ll believe it. Examples :

UBERaffiliate.com
shoeMONEY.com
SUPERAFFILIATEmindset.com
CASHtactics.net

In the least, include something like “I Make Money Online By Telling People How I Make Money Online” in the title of your blog. All people want from your blog (in most cases) is to learn how to make money. Remember…you don’t actually have to be an uber affiliate, you just need people to think you are.

Step 2 : Regurgitate some already known tips.

Go to my affiliate marketing guide, or visit other affiliate marketing blogs around the web. Read all the content that’s been talked about a billion times (like how to track with php, why more content on your site gives you a better quality score, how to write adcopy, etc). Use words like “laser-targeted” and “server side tracking”. You don’t even have to know what you mean by that, it just makes you sound pro.

Step 3 : B/s current events.

Bring up some fancy Google Trends swine flu graph :

And talk about the huge spike in the graph, and that you should be capitalizing on selling immune system rebill products. Now people will think you’re keeping up with current events, and they can check back on your blog for more current events. Even though you pointed out an obvious fact and just pulled a Google Trends graph. Case in point. Not many comments on that post but that’s because it was one of the first. It did it’s job.

Step 4 : Land a big guest post somewhere to explode your readership.

By this point, you have a name like DancingWithTheSuperAffiliates.com and a tagline like “Ex-Blackhat Conman” to give people the impression that you’re straight out of a Clint Eastwood movie. You also have a small reserve of posts that are going to make you look like you know what you’re talking about, and that you keep up with the industry. It’s time to get your readers.

This could be one of the most difficult steps, because you actually have to write something that’s worth a guest post somewhere. For me, I had to sacrifice breaking Facebook ads on Shoemoney to get my readers. It was a great article though and I think I had over 1,000 readers a week later. Once you have a kick-start like that, your readers will start linking to your future posts, about regurgitated tips and common sense current events.

Step 5 : The Earnings Screenshot

This one is absolutely necessary if you want a following that will pause their campaigns at your will/recommendation.

As demonstrated by previous heroes of our past, you can completely fake the screenshot. If you’re then caught doing so (which you have to be really stupid), just come back and say “EDIT : This edit came in before people called me out. That check isn’t mine, I only posted the picture for entertainment purposes. I did make that money though…”

Step 6 : Linkbait and Commotion

Any decent blogger can be good at writing link bait. Have you noticed the hundred links in this post already? Also I don’t mean it’s required that you get a ton of links back to your article, starting a good fuss in the comments section usually does the trick as well. You want to keep people engaged in your blog, and also entertain them. I think people like when I post something they don’t agree with, because they get to speak up against me.

Step 7 : Ads, Review Posts, etc

Things like ads and review posts can add a sense of legitimacy I think in a blog. If people are buying ad spots and review posts, the blog must be worth something. Keep in mind, nobody actually has to buy a review post/ad spot for it to look like they have. Put in some affiliate network ads and review posts (that they didn’t ask you to do) and pop in your referral link.

…

Follow all these steps and you may actually turn yourself into the super affiliate you’re claiming to be. You’ll make money from the ads to put into PPC, and have networks begging you for your traffic that doesn’t exist.

Cool people (and friends) mentioned in this post :

Me
Shoemoney
John Chow
Chad (CDF)
Kris (Cash Tactics)
Cakes